The main Drunken Knights team play in central London, at The Plough pub, right near to the British Museum. This team is brilliantly run by the charismatic Nevil Chan but just recently, transport bigwig,  Gary O’Grady has started a ‘Surrey Branch’ down in Godalming his home town.

Now this has become quite handy for me as I now live a 2 minute walk away from the home venue. Coincidence you may think? Well kind of I guess…

It was a hard decision leaving my old club Sandhurst, who have made many great steps in improving the status of chess and I must thank Alec (the main man at Sandhurst) personally, for he has helped me out greatly but from a practical point of view, it made more sense to join the Drunken Knights.

Now there has been some rumours about other signings for the Drunken Knights http://www.ecforum.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2083 I cannot comment on these rumours but I will leave it in the capable hands of Gary O’Grady to introduce the new team members: myself, Aly and Mark Rich the new signings…

The extract below was taken from an email that was circulated amongst the Drunken Knights Surrey Branch team, from the captain Gary O’Grady. I had to edit it somewhat in order to publish it here… and please note that it IS fictional!

We have some exciting new players joining us this season to ensure that I don’t play and spoil our championship chance!

Ginger GM Simon Williams

Simon Williams was born in Farnham and educated locally before moving on to a remote monastery on the Greek Island of Paphos in order to find God and inner peace after a drug fuelled early school life. It was here he developed quite a skill in chess playing in his habit with other lonely monks trying to find similar enlightenment.

He never did find God nor inner peace and his earlier days came back to haunt him. The main production for this monastery was trappist ales which Simon had avoided consuming for many years.

However after a very bad game against one of the newest monks to join this cabal he was completely inconsolable at this unfathomable loss and turned once more to the ale. Many jugs later and dancing round the steeple minus his habit he was cast out of this peaceful haven and sent back to the real world to hopefully repent and contemplate his actions.

This he still has spectacularly failed to do. Moving back to Farnham home turf he fell back in to his old ways. Drunken Knights manger Gary O’Grady dragged him out of this putrid filthy mire and offered him a place in the Drunken Knights Surrey Branch in the hope of encouraging him back in to a world of peaceful normality.

Simon has come on well and has since moved to Godalming living just 34 seconds brisk walk from The Star.

We wish him well in his recovery and welcome him back to society and hope the Drunken Knights experience will lead to a sustained and fullfield life.

WFM Alexandra Wilson

Lovely Alexandra ‘Aly’ Wilson started her chess career early in a small village in the foot hills of the Pyrenees. It was a poor upbringing. Her parents couldn’t afford a complete set so coloured stones were sometimes used in their stead.

Her school life was far from satisfactory being in the bottom class of every subject but completely and utterly absorbed in her little chess set. After seeing how well she played a neighbour offered to take her to the local chess club as a visiting grand master from Paris was going to give a simultaneous display.

Needless to say Aly was the last one standing with the grand master having to concede a draw against this young plucky upstart. Years went by and she failed abysmally at school but the chess never stoped. She decided ultimately to leave her girl hood home to find her fortune over the chess board and began a tour of Europe.

This ended abruptly in Geneva when she was approached during a tournament by a ginger haired weirdo offering to take her to chess heaven. Totally taken in by his drunken charms they began a truly tempestuous relationship which after many years now means that Aly also lives a brisk 34 second walk from The Star.

Mark Rich

All I can say about Mark Rich is that he had a one move check mate against 3 times British Champion Grandmaster some Scottish bloke and missed it!

Wise words Mr. Rich. Wise words indeed.

So there we are. They are the new boys and girl joining our illustrious brotherhood.

Justin from darkphoenix media has been developing a new website for gingergm that is nearly ready to launch.

This site will have a lot of new and exciting features. A taste of which you will have to wait for! Let’s hope it is ready to rock and roll by the end of the week!

The minds behind gingergm.com thought that it was worth applying for the title of  ‘ECF website of the year’ award. http://www.englishchess.org.uk/?p=5588 but in the end it went to another site.

We had a quick discussion about this last night and came to the conclusion that if we ever won the award then we really should hold our heads in shame. (we not jealous, really we are not…)

Why don’t we want such a worthy title you may ask? Well for a start it means that we are not being edgy enough and I also suppose that we kind of enjoy being a bit outside of the norm here at gingergm.

In honour of this attitude the  ‘bottom board man’ sent me today’s lesson, which can be seen below…

Now before we move onto the lesson I just want to mention that at some point in the future we are going to start a discussion about the state of chess in England and about it’s sad, gradual, decline.

20 years or so ago, chess was booming in England, with top tournaments, top players and top prizes. The sad fact is that chess has only gone one way since then, downhill. Now who or what is to blame for this?

Maybe the ECF or some of the minds behind the ECF? (I know that some individuals have done a brilliant job but the federation have been in charge of English chess for the last 20 years).

The breakup of the USSR?

The ‘geeky’ reputation that chess holds to the general public?

What is the reason?

Anyway, more about this at another time. Let’s now move onto the ‘ Bottom board mans’ lesson of the day….

LESSON FOR TODAY 

Sometimes, we try  too hard to get to the greener grass.
In the process, we end up in  trouble…….. 
And when you find yourself in trouble and you’re stuck in a  situation that you can’t get out of, there is one thing you should 
always remember…….

Not everyone who shows  up……. 
Is there to help you!!!! 

I have been playing like a bit of a patzer of late, so I now welcome ‘bottom board mans’ attempt at cheering me up.

‘Bottom board man’ has found some interesting signs of when one is in danger at chess, on top of this he has also searched the internet for some chess related jokes.

Any other comments/jokes are always welcome!

Moments when you should feel danger at chess

1) There has been a change in the pawn structure. Your opponent has 8 and you don’t have any.

2) Your opponent begins to throw pawns at your eyes.

3) You have a position won but your opponent has a gun. 

4) The Director tells you not to bother turning in your score sheet after the game.

5) Before game begins you notice your opponents 1st initials are ‘GM’.

6) After completing your development you sense your opponent playing the endgame.

7) Just as you make your opening move your opponent announces mate in 11.

 You don’t control any squares at all.

9) Your draw offer sends all the people watching your game into uncontrollable laughter.

10) Your opponent has 3 bishops.

And now some dangerous moments that I have encountered… (Simon Williams)

11) The smell of ‘chess sweat’ makes it hard to see the board

12) Your opponent turns up completely drunk then suddenly rushes off and returns 10 minutes later with sick dripping down his chin.

13) After winning a fair bit of money at ‘Blitz chess’ your opponent decides to lock you in his house, call his friends into the room from upstairs and demand his money back.

14) The board next to you breaks out into an argument, then a fight and the victor (of the fight) turns to you and asks, ‘you saw what happened didn’t you?’

There are plenty more but I can not go into all of them here…

Some chess jokes

A chess master died – after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
“What’s it like, where you are now,” he asked.
“What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news.”
“Tell me the good news first.”
“Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they’re all here, and you can play them.”
“Fantastic!” the friend said, “and what is the bad news?”
“You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”

Q: What is the difference between a large cheese pizza and a chess Grandmaster?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

And now a joke that a friend of mine told me. To set the the scene he was the best man at a wedding of a chess player and he mentioned the following in his speech…

‘I once asked *** whether he preferred chess or sex and he replied, “well it depends on the position!”

That’s enough for now and I am sure that a number of readers out there can improve on our pitiful attempts…

The following chess players can be seen in the photo above (July 2010 fide ratings have been included in brackets):

From left to right: Blair Connell (2263), GM Nick Pert (2551), WFM Alexandra Wilson (2039)

From left to right: IM Adam Hunt (2408), GM Simon Williams (2511), GM Danny Gormally (2480)

Well done to everyone who got the answer right! Sadly, there can only be one winner and that winner is Matt Webb. Congratulations! A copy of Simon’s latest dvds, ‘Killer French Part 1 & 2’, have been sent to you.

Simon chose to wheel out the French – not a bad idea, especially when you have just released two DVDs on the same opening. (Good bit of promotion there, Simon!) ;o) Stuart, a notoriously difficult player to prepare against due to his vast opening repertoire, decided to play a fairly offbeat line in the Advanced Variation. In fact, the position that arose after 8…Nh4 cannot be found in any chess databases at Ginger HQ. Following on from the opening, Black had more control of the centre whereas White had a useful space advantage. The position was fairly dynamic and White seemed to have a slight advantage, however, when given the chance, Stuart should have swapped off Black’s most active piece, namely the dark squared bishop on f6.

Later on in the game, Black exchanged White’s dark squared bishop on d4 with his knight and made full use of his bishop pair by opening the position up. Stuart mistakenly allowed Black to roll his centre pawns down the board. Take a look at the final position below to see Black’s overwhelming pawn storm.

Simon now faces tournament leader and number one seed Mickey Adams with the black pieces. If anyone can stop Mickey in his tracks, it’s Simon. Stay tuned for the outcome!

What is the sum of their combined FIDE ratings from the July 2010 list? The first correct answer drawn from the hat at the close of the British Championship wins the two parts of the new Ginger GM Killer French DVD!

Click the ‘Read more…’ link to see the photo full-size.

Answers to Alexandra@blackthornetransport.co.uk. Please send your name, address and email address.

Good luck!

Adam chose to play the Richter-Rauzer Attack against Simon’s Classical Sicilian setup. In typical fashion, White quickly completed his development and started punting his h-pawn down the board with the sole aim of creating havoc on Black’s kingside. Meanwhile Simon, who wisely chose to leave his king in the centre for the time being, wasted no time in mounting an attack on White’s queenside-castled king with the typical a7-a6 and b7-b5 plan. Whilst Adam’s attack seemed to run out of steam, Simon’s was gaining full momentum, so much so that he managed to play b3 in the following position:

On move 24, Simon missed his chance to take full advantage of his huge attack. He chose to play 24… Qa4 in the position below, whereas 24… 0-0 followed by either Na5 or Rc7 would have been better. White is never really threatening to capture on b3 because 25… Qa4 gives Black a big advantage due to the fact that the knight is pinned to the rook on d1.

Later on in the game, Simon sacked the exchange on c3 – now let’s be honest, we all knew that he would be itching to sack somewhere along the lines. It was more a matter of when rather than if. You can see Simon’s moment of glory below:

It was soon clear that Black had more than enough compensation for the exchange so Adam felt that he had to sacrifice the material back in order to keep his position alive. Although Simon was a pawn down in the later stages of the game, he still had a slight advantage as White’s king was so vulnerable. Unfortunately, Black needed a few extra pieces on the board if he wanted to mate White and the position soon petered out to a draw where both players were unable to make progress.

Sadly, the title of ‘Ginger Champion’ cannot be awarded as the game was left undecided. Perhaps we can arrange for a re-match soon. Best of three guys?

To while away the hours whilst waiting for the home time bell I found out some pretty useless facts about Canterbury which I will share with you. None of which I made up.

St Martin’s Church, Canterbury, is the oldest parish church in England and has been in continuous use since at least the 6th century

King John and his bride Isabella were crowned in Canterbury, in 1201 AD.

There is no evidence that 14th century writer Geoffrey Chaucer, author of the “Canterbury Tales”, ever visited the city.

In May 1830 the world’s first ever scheduled passenger rail service opened between Canterbury and the coastal town of Whitstable, 6 miles to the north.

Mary Tourtel (née Caudwell) who created Rupert Bear was born in Canterbury and is buried in the churchyard of St Martin’s.

James Bond creator Ian Fleming (1908 – 1964) lived near and died in Canterbury.

102 former archbishops of Canterbury are deceased. Of those, three were murdered: St Alphege (1011), St Thomas Becket (1170), and Simon Sudbury (1381). In addition, Thomas Cranmer was burned at the stake (1556) and William Laud was beheaded (1645).

We will off course bring you a full report next week of our weekend activities and look forward to seeing you in Canterbury if you are there.

I am afraid to announce that there is going to be a slight delay in the release date for the Killer French DVD’s.

I have just been told that the replicator had a slight problem that took a bit of unexpected time to overcome.

This means that the new release date for DVD 1+2 will be the 1st August – For Europe

15th of August – For the USA and Canada.

I must sincerely apologise for this. The delay has annoyed me somewhat but the product must be perfect before we send it out. I hope that you will agree that it is worth the wait.